political nonsense

The FDA approved dog prozac.

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One day after legislative leaders met with President Bush, failing to find common ground, House Democrats signaled their intention to step away from a mandatory deadline to remove troops from Iraq, and to work instead toward a compromise of setting a goal for troops to be withdrawn next year.

But the president said that any timetable for a troop redeployment, even a goal, would face a veto. “I think it’s a mistake,” Mr. Bush said Thursday during a speech in Ohio.
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The Senate majority leader Harry Reid declared that the United States had lost the war in Iraq. Representative Peter Hoekstra, a Michigan Republican, said: “If Harry Reid believes that this war is lost, where is his plan to win this war?”
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Senator John McCain entertained a crowd at a campaign rally in South Carolina by singing “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” to the tune of “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys.
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The Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on partial birth abortions.
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A series of bombs in several mainly Shiite districts in Baghdad on Wednesday killed at least 158 people, police said, in the worst wave of carnage since President Bush announced three months ago that he would deploy additional troops to pacify the Iraqi capital.
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Britain banned the phrase “War on Terror.”
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In the first major shake-up of Iraq’s fragile coalition government, six ministers loyal to Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr pulled out of the cabinet on Monday over Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki’s refusal to set a timetable for an American troop withdrawal from Iraq.
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In Hungary, a truck on its way to a slaughterhouse overturned, releasing 5,000 bunnies; 500 were killed and 4,400 recaptured, but 100 hopped to freedom.

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Sudan agreed to allow more than 3,000 armed U.N. and African peacekeepers into Darfur.
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A U.S. Army recruiter’s email exchange with a gay man was published in a New Jersey newspaper.

“YOU GO BACK TO AFRICA AND DO YOUR GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE,”

wrote the recruiter,

“AND JUMP AROUND AND PRANCE AND RUN ALL OVER THE PLACE HALF NAKED.”

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In Baghdad, a U.S. congressional delegation outfitted with bulletproof vests, flanked by 100 soldiers in armored Humvees, and watched over by attack helicopters, visited a local bazaar to demonstrate the success of the current security plan. It was, said Representative Mike Pence (R., Ind.), just like an “outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime.”
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The Walt Disney Company announced that it will begin offering “Fairy Tale” weddings to homosexuals. Disney’s Fairy Tale Wedding packages start at $8,000 and include a wedding planner, the ceremony, food and beverages, flowers and table decorations.
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Michael Jackson decided to create a fifty-foot-tall robotic replica of himself that would roam the Las Vegas shooting out laser beams. “It would be the first thing people flying in would see,” he said.
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Researchers used infrared and atomic-emission spectroscopy, mass spectroscopy, electron microscopy, pollen analysis, and the leading “noses” in the perfume industry to determine that a rib bone unearthed at the site where Joan of Arc was burned at the stake actually belonged to an Egyptian mummy.
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Crystal Meth is now available in candy flavors, such as strawberry quick. Law enforcement agents are concerned the strawberry flavoring may make the drug appear less dangerous.
“Teenagers who have been taught meth is bad may see this flavored version as less harmful,” they said.
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Polish burglars knocked over a sex shop in Austria, then used vibrators, prophylactics, and a vacuum cleaner to elude the police in a high-speed car chase.
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