political nonsense

Rodney King bicycled home after being shot in the face.

[why not?]
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Evel Knievel died.

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Oprah and Obama are going on tour together.

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Russell Crowe decided to get baptized.

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Supermodel Gisele Bundchen stopped accepting payment in dollars.

[no longer accepting dollar bills]
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The Dalai Lama told President Bush he had some reservations about Iraq.
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Results of a telephone survey showed that in a race versus Republican Rudy Giuliani and Democrat Hilary Clinton, comedian Stephen Colbert would receive 13% of all votes.

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Stephen Colbert announced he was running for president. “I don’t want to be president. I want to run for president. There’s a difference,” he said.

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Paris Hilton decided to go to Rwanda to do charity work.

[not in rwanda]
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The airport where Larry Craig was arrested planned to spend $25,000 to put in longer dividers between stalls in the men’s bathroom in order to make the stalls less enticing for sexual encounters.

[soon to be unappealing]
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It was revealed that two of the sisters on The Brady Bunch had a lesbian fling.

[that’s hot]
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Former President Bill Clinton said he might slit his throat if his wife got elected president.
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O.J. Simpson was arrested Sunday on charges related to a Las Vegas armed robbery involving sport memorabilia, and his book: “If I did it: Confessions of the Killer,” was published by the family of his ex-wife, who he might have killed.

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A high school student in New Hampshire asked John McCain if the senator was too old to be president. “Thanks for the question, you little jerk,” McCain replied. “You’re drafted!”
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Spokesmen for Larry Craig said that the senator, caught flirting in a men’s room, would resign, then that he wouldn’t, and then that he would. His former chief of staff claimed that Craig had been planning to quit anyway.

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Osama Bin Laden urged Americans to embrace Islam.
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Nicole Richie went to jail for 82 minutes.

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Previously unpublished letters by Mother Teresa revealed that beginning in 1948 and continuing until the end of her life in 1997 she was unable to sense the presence of God. “Repulsed—empty—no faith—no love—no zeal,” she wrote. “Heaven means nothing.”

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Leonardo DiCaprio made a movie about the environment.
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50 cent and Kayne West are going to debate whose album is better on live TV on September 11th. “Just don’t be asking me if I am a conscious rapper. I know exactly what I am saying - so I am conscious,” 50 cent said.
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