political nonsense

Nicole Richie announced that she only dates circumcised men. “The one thing I always look for in a guy is for them to be circumcised,” she said.
(more…)

Los Angeles sheriffs launched an internal investigation into allegations that Paris Hilton received preferential treatment during her jail sentence last month.
(more…)

Carbon Footprint reported that Live Earth will produce about 74,500 tons of the gas, which would require the plantation of about 100,000 trees to offset. “If you want to save the planet, I want you to start jumping up and down!” Madonna said.

(more…)

Barack Obama got robbed.
(more…)

George W. Bush and the Dalai Lama have the same birthday.
(more…)

Britney Spears is probably dating her AA counselor.
(more…)

The Spice Girls are getting back together.

[then]
(more…)

CNN canceled it’s interview with Michael Moore to make room for Paris Hilton.
(more…)

Nobody wanted to interview Paris Hilton.

[boring]
(more…)

Paris Hilton said she will not appeal a judge’s decision sending her back to jail, after three days crying and rejecting food and water on fears she would be photographed using the toilet.

(more…)

Paris Hilton reported to jail to serve her reduced sentence and, according to family members, “breaks down crying a lot because she can’t deal with the reality and the pressure.” Also, the Paris Hilton dummy got a makeover.

(more…)

Dr. Kevorkian promised not to kill anymore people.

[watch out]
(more…)

Al Gore called the president a criminal, a liar and a man with the blood of thousands of innocent lives on his hands.
(more…)

Republican party members were all too busy to attend Jerry Falwell’s funeral, where an evangelist tried unsuccessfully to blow up some protesters.
(more…)

Paula Abdul tripped over her chihuahua and broke her nose.

[sorry paula]
(more…)

In Richmond, Virginia, a painting of Britney Spears was covered up at the request of Barack Obama’s campaign.

[art]
(more…)

U.S. evangelist Jerry Falwell, a leader of the religious right who battled in the political arena against abortion and homosexuality, died on Tuesday of heart failure.

[oh well]
(more…)

Paul Wolfowitz’s girlfriend announced she was resigning as Mr. Wolfowitz’s girlfriend, “effective immediately.”
(more…)

Paris Hilton said she was ready to go to jail.

(more…)

Michael Jackson decided to create a fifty-foot-tall robotic replica of himself that would roam the Las Vegas shooting out laser beams. “It would be the first thing people flying in would see,” he said.
(more…)