Archive for the ‘editor’s picks’ Category

Study: Blondes make men stupid

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

It was discovered that blondes make men dumber.
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Australia bans “ho ho ho”

Friday, November 16th, 2007

Santas in Australia were told not to say “ho ho ho” because it may be offensive to women. Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha”, the Daily Telegraph reported.
slutty santa
[ho ho ho?]
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Scientists: Sexy walkers not fertile

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Scientists found that a woman who has a sexy walk is unlikely to be ovulating.
sexy walk
[not fertile]
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Survey: Pot smokers better

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

A Swiss survey found that teenagers that smoke weed function better than teen tobacco-users, are more socially driven and have fewer psychosocial problems than those who do not use either substance. US doctors disagreed.
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Report: Little girls dress too slutty

Monday, October 29th, 2007

ABC news reported that little girls have started dressing like skanks.
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Survey: Colbert support at 13%

Sunday, October 28th, 2007

Results of a telephone survey showed that in a race versus Republican Rudy Giuliani and Democrat Hilary Clinton, comedian Stephen Colbert would receive 13% of all votes.
stephen colbert
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Scientists alter worm’s sexual orientation

Saturday, October 27th, 2007

Scientists in Utah turned a worm gay.
worm
[now a dyke]
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Fox News considers terrorist link to California wildfires

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

A Fox News anchor speculated that Al-Qaeda might have started the fires in California.
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Colbert to run for president

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

Stephen Colbert announced he was running for president. “I don’t want to be president. I want to run for president. There’s a difference,” he said.
stephen colbert
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Survey: US should do something about global warming

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

A survey found that most Americans now believe that humans are causing global warming, and that we should do something about that.
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Obama and Cheney: Cousins

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

It was reported that Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are cousins.
obamadick cheney
[duh]
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Scientists: Swearing at work a bonding experience

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

It was reported that swearing boosts work morale.
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Study: CEO’s think they’re overpaid

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

Two thirds of American CEOs, a study found, think that American CEOs are overpaid.
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Scientists: Strippers earn more when they’re fertile

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

Researchers reported that strippers earn more money when they’re ovulating.
pole dance
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Think tank: War on Terror sucks

Monday, October 8th, 2007

A British think tank concluded that the War on Terror has been a disaster.
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Woman runs over her own legs

Thursday, October 4th, 2007

A woman ran over her own legs with her SUV in a McDonald’s drive-thru.
woman, run over legs
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Virtual border fence delayed

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

The Department of Homeland Security announced that the completion of a $20 million “virtual fence” pilot project along the Mexican border near Tucson would be delayed because its cameras and radar were unable to distinguish people and vehicles from bushes and cows.
bush
[not a mexican]
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Larry Craig’s bathroom to get remodeled

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

The airport where Larry Craig was arrested planned to spend $25,000 to put in longer dividers between stalls in the men’s bathroom in order to make the stalls less enticing for sexual encounters.
stall
[soon to be unappealing]
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Brady Bunch sisters had lesbian fling

Sunday, September 23rd, 2007

It was revealed that two of the sisters on The Brady Bunch had a lesbian fling.
brady bunch
[that's hot]
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Bill Clinton reveals his feelings about being “first gentleman”

Friday, September 21st, 2007

Former President Bill Clinton said he might slit his throat if his wife got elected president.
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